Too fast, too strong, too big, too volatile.
At least at first.
As I moved up the levels of play in the Bunnan Polocrosse Club while in Australia playing polocrosse and working as a farm hand, I soon began to garner the approval of the upper level players. I could ride. My pony club days put me far and away beyond most of the other riders, for my finesse and skill and seat, and overall connection to the horses. Plus, my lifetime of athlete analytics with my dad, and strategizing with my team mates in both polo and polocrosse, had honed my mind to see the field as infinite possibilities.
But the speed. Wow. I’d never seen polocrosse that FAST. Let alone played anywhere close to that speed.
So when the Halsted’s offered me their horse Sundance, I said yes with joyful trepidation. Sundance was STUNNING. He was the Tesla of polocrosse horses. He knew the sport far better than me, had played at the World Cup Level, and after over 15 years of A Grade competition, he was being allowed to ease down a level into retirement. Yet, he certainly didn’t see it that way.
I was playing the number one, the goal scorer for the team. I remember it distinctly. I was milling at the line, as my #3 worked the end zone (in our defensive end). She snagged the ball, and bam – threw it across to my waiting net. As soon as that ball lodged in my racquet, Sundance was off.
He knew exactly what to do. Spinning on a dime, we were off like a rocket down the field. No one could catch us. His long legs stretched, his hooves thundering on the grass, as we flew towards our end zone. As the line approached, I knew I’d have to do a straight shot. There was no stopping, no turning, no second chances to make the bounce, catch, shoot, and score.
And I did it.
The adrenaline was immense. My face red from the wind. Exuberant at the highest speed goal I’d ever made.
Then it was called back. Wait, what??
Turns out, Sundance was so fast, that we were inside the “D” (the ring around the goal that you have to score outside of), and therefore the goal was called back. Just like I’m learning with crafting a successful Butterfly Net, there are many factors that need to line up to make the execution perfect.
Lucky for me, the opposing #3 still had to get it out of my end zone. And I wasn’t gonna let that happen.
So I rode her hard, forcing an error, giving myself a chance to scoop the ball up and work the end zone – my specialty.
Then, as I slowly and with control began to follow my patterns, she swung – cracking me straight across the face. Completely missed my racquet, my arm, everything. Ball still in the net, my face guard dislodge, and most likely a quickly swelling bruise appearing on my face.
A goal after all. Not the way I liked to score (you get a point if someone hits you in the head), but a goal none the less. I’ll take it.
I share this today, because riding the TSLA wave brought back this memory.
The adrenaline. The speed. The finesse. Yes, I could have lost it all (the $95 I put in the pot). Yes, I could have stayed in and made a lot (maybe). You don’t know. You never know what will happen next. I saw the potential. I took a chance and chose to participate. I came out even – nothing lost, nothing won. And a lot learned.
Today, I call that Trade a win. My plan was sound, my execution was emotionless. My calculated guess was correct. But I was playing with the “Big Boys.” My small account didn’t allow for me to make a big, beautiful wide net to capture the range of possibilities. I had to try my best with what I could afford (a 50-60-70 tight butterfly on expiration date) and in the process learned from the experience.
Just like playing on Sundance, I know that I’ll get better and better. That weekend, 10 years ago, it took me a couple runs before I could shoot and score fast enough (I had several goals called back, but made enough to garner my team a win).
By the time I’d finished that tournament weekend (I competed on him for a portion of the season), I’d come to love that big, strong, powerful horse. My arms had never been so sore, my body ached, but damn – what a ride it was.
Just like with my 20 Trades I’m in the process of, I know that I’ll come out on the other side stronger of mind, faster of intellect, and more in tune with my own ability to act on my edges effectively.
Love as always,
~Mackenzie
